Thoughts on Settling...

Well, well, we are once again dog owners.  I really like the idea of having a dog, especially if only to satisfy the deep yearning of Faith's for said dog.  She really wanted a puppy, but after several questions, we found that what she really wanted was a small dog, not necessarily a puppy.  Most often puppies start out small and cute-like, and then grow up (which I prefer).  But what Faith had in mind was something small that she could, say, carry.  Like a doll.  

However, Daisy has other ideas.  She is an independent little dog that is very friendly, but not as cuddly as Faith had hoped.  Daisy does like to take a lot of walks, which suits Faith just fine. But she is not completely house-trained and she has this annoying habit at barking at anyone who is under four feet tall.  So, if we go to the park, she just goes into this small-people-barking-frenzy, which drives me mad.  

Having a dog makes us feel settled.  Like we live here or something.  Which I will have to come to terms with, sooner rather than later.  I am making progress:  I go to the gym, I have made plans with various members of my family and old friends, I drive the speed limit on the freeway (instead of under the limit!), I have a mailing address, a library card and frequent customer card at the local health food store.  Am I a local now?

When we lived in Hawaii, we were never considered locals.  We wouldn't have even if we lived there for 20 years!  Being a local means you have to have been born there, whether Polynesian or not.  Living there long-term merely bestows the title "transplant" and that is just that.  In Utah, however, no one cares about that kind of thing.  You either live here or you don't.  You can say you came from another place, as in:   "I've just moved here from Hawaii" or "I grew up in California" but the simple fact of the matter is it just doesn't matter.  We may want it to, perhaps to differentiate ourselves from our neighbours or ward members, but it really doesn't. 

Either you live in Utah or you don't.  And if you do, you better like what it has to offer or suffer:  it is our very own decision!  hahahahahaaaaaaa (evil laughter trailing off into the distance...)  

Back on the Mainland Again...

Well, we are now living in Utah.  I know, I know, I have been talking about this forever, and I was accused by several people that we were never really moving.  But we did.  And now we live here.

But where is here?  We are, so far, homeless.  We are camping out at Dave's parents' house, en route to a new (to us) home.  Where will we land?  What does the future hold for us?  Will my children be happy?  What is going to happen, for heaven's sake?!?!

Ever since we have been talking to the children about moving to Utah, we have promised Faith a dog when we got a new house in Utah.  Now, what do you think Faith talks about, day in and day out?  A dog, a puppy,  or any combination thereof.  We have looked at several pet stores, searched every pet adoption website in the area.  Last night, Faith came moping upstairs well after she had been put to bed, crying about how she cannot possibly fall asleep without her puppy!  She truly and honestly meant the puppy that we do not actually have yet!  Yikes!

So, with a house and a new neighbourhood, we will also have a puppy.  Or a dog.  Or whatever.  I am happy to get her that one thing, after all this up and down, back and forth, transitions and camping out.  If that is all it takes, for her, for now, I am all for it.  

Plus, I like dogs!  Life is wuff...

ps. Nothing to do with the post, but this picture is from our hike out to Kaena Point, which is the northern-most point of the island of Oahu.  In the background are monk seals, which come up on the shores of the island to rest.  Faith is always overjoyed to see animals; any kind will do...  

Odds and Ends

Moving day is nearly here and I am livin' it up in Hawaii!  Saturday, we all went to the zoo in honolulu.  The zoo here is great--nice, small, and cheap!   Something I have really enjoyed about Hawaii is the discount locals get here.  Well, I am not actually considered a local, but I do have local ID, so I still get the discount!  This is called the Kama'aina rate.  

But I did not log in to talk about Kama'aina.  I want to talk about the revitalizing aspects of the ocean, of change and of epiphanies that come out of nowhere.  Actually, I don't want to talk about these things, I just wanted to mention that they exist and that I am reaping the benefits of said revitalization.

I just came off the beach after a run and a short meditation and have realized that I am going to need to get back to the ocean whenever possible.  I have always known this about myself, really, but it is living so close to the water and now having to leave it has made me really become aware of my connection to the sea.  I often seek out water, whether it be a lake, a river, a really big bathtub, but it is the ocean that is my home!

So here I sit, in my bare home on my next-to-last day in Hawaii, with sand between my toes, thinking of the adventures that our move back to the mainland will bring.  I sit here with the realization that I will need to come back to the ocean someday soon.  And guess what?  It will be waiting for me, here or at any seashore, faithfully and without expectation or regret.   

Namaste, Aloha and I love you!  

 

Promising Progress...

Denial.  

No, it is not a river, but rather the state I am in right now.  You may be thinking of my last post, in which I was lamenting our imminent move.  But that is not it.  Not the idea of the move itself--it is the move-"ing" of stuff, as in clean, sort, pack, load, camp out for a few weeks, unload, unpack, wonder why I brought this crap, clean again, sort again, settle part that I am in denial about.  Oh, and in between (during the camping phase), we find the actual place in which we unload said stuff.  I am merely hesitating to start that crazy process.  

And, while I have your attention, it must be said that while part of me is sad to leave such a lovely place, I am finally in a position to be OK with the move.  In fact, better than OK:  good.  I know, I know, but this past week has been a huge eye-opener for me.  I spent the week attending a course on the philosophy of yoga.  Let me tell you, it is not what you imagine!  It was absolutely amazing.  While not going nuts on the subject, even though I am tempted, I will say that my faith in my faith has grown exponentially while learning about yoga as the non-sectarian spiritual practice that it truly is.  I learned the proper definitions of words that, through the "dumbing-down" of Eastern spirituality, have become so convoluted that almost everyone I know has got them wrong.  I was one of those people, but no more!  

At the very least, this experience will enhance my yoga teaching when I return to that venue. But even better, it has strengthened my relationship with Jesus Christ and my resolve to follow His example and do His work.  Weird, huh?  Who knew?!  All this time, we thought yoga was just really great exercising and breathing, right?  There is more to it than that!  I knew there was a deeper level to yoga--it would be hard to practice for any length of time and not pick up on that somehow.   But the fact that it is possible (and even necessary) to embrace the spiritual aspects of yoga in my quest to return from whence I came is incredible.   Amazing. Wonderful.  Crazy.  Stupefying.  Exciting!     

So, off I go to the mainland.  Whatever happens, happens.  I am just going with it because it is ridiculous to not.  I mean, why spend all that energy and thought on something I cannot and do not want to change?  I can only change my reaction to the move to a response.  Here it is: Bring it on, universe.  I've got my head on straight.  Finally.   

p.s. thanks, Mom, for the photo!

Ready or Not, Here We Come!

Well, it has happened.  Plans for our move back to the mainland are under way.  I knew this a few weeks ago, but I think in the back of my head there was this idea that if I didn't post about the move, it too would pass.  Nope.

I have been so busy trying to figure out how to fit in all the chores required for an across-the-sea-move before our March 27 departure, that I didn't realize how incredibly bummed I am to leave this place.  Like, really bummed.  I was trying to fall asleep last night, visions of the 'to-do' list dancing in my head, when it occurred to me that I was SAD and I wanted to CRY. So I did.  My being sad is why I have been so slow in deciding what goes in the garage for the yard sale and what will be collected into boxes for the ship ride to Utah.

Please, do not pity me.  (I pity myself enough! :)) I do think that this is the best thing for our family right now.  Our Bigs (the older boys) are happy to have us come back.  Not having family ties at all here has been a bit challenging, which actually came as a surprise to us. 

It has been really great living in the islands for so many reasons.  I know I make lists often, so I will refrain, but do know that besides the marginal (at best) public education and the incredible lack of ambition that abounds here, (and the $7-per-gallon milk!) living here in Hawai'i has been one of the best ideas that we have followed through to the end!  Our little family has grown closer, our older boys have grown up, our faith has deepened and we know that, together, we can get through anything.

With the time we have left here, we intend to enjoy the temperate climate, the clear blue water, the soft sand beaches and our good friends' company.  I plan on giving myself a lovely good-bye luau, complete with traditional foods, under an EZ corner at the nearby beach park.  I might even dance a hula and give out leis, if I so choose.  Just to let you know, you are all invited!

ALOHA!!

The Heebs

I just had a truly harrowing experience.  I had planned to post about the incredible (to me) run that I had this morning, but instead, I need to tell you about coming face to face with a fear of mine:  creepy-crawlies.

Yes, it is true, folks, I do not like things that may creep up on me and crawl on me with their little, gross legs.  Or, in this case, big gross legs.  I was getting a bit of a chill after my run this morning, so I decided to get into the shower.  As I was closing the shower curtain, I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.  Yes!  There is was--a huge spider!  I am not talking an exaggerated-ly big spider, I am talking about an actual huge spider.  One that was so big, when I finally got the thing sprayed down the tub, IT WOULD NOT FIT DOWN THE DRAIN!  It sat there, partially out of sight, with two of its disgusting legs clinging to the edge of the drain stopper, all stubborn-like, just waiting for me to close my eyes while I rinsed my hair to jump out and try to escape.  Which happened.  OooooooooH!

After that, I kept my eyes glued to that thing while I rinsed my hair, soaped up, washed my face and got the conditioner out of my hair.  Yes, I got two different kinds of soap in my eye, but it was worth it!  I stared that thing down and it stayed there, at the drain, waiting for me to leave. I had major adrenaline going the entire shower!  Now, 15 minutes later, I am writing this and can barely get my granola down because I still have the heebs.  So unfair.

I have decided that large spiders, cockroaches, and crickets freak me out, not because I think they are going to EAT me, but because they are so pickin' unpredictable!  THAT is was gets me--I never know where the little buggers are going to GO, whether it is up my leg or far away to the corner.

Anyway, enough of that.  I need to get my breakfast down.  And then go see if that darn spider is still stuck in my drain.  It better not be...

The Heebs

I just had a truly harrowing experience.  I had planned to post about the incredible (to me) run that I had this morning, but instead, I need to tell you about coming face to face with a fear of mine:  creepy-crawlies.

Yes, it is true, folks, I do not like things that may creep up on me and crawl on me with their little, gross legs.  Or, in this case, big gross legs.  I was getting a bit of a chill after my run this morning, so I decided to get into the shower.  As I was closing the shower curtain, I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye.  Yes!  There is was--a huge spider!  I am not talking an exaggerated-ly big spider, I am talking about an actual huge spider.  One that was so big, when I finally got the thing sprayed down the tub, IT WOULD NOT FIT DOWN THE DRAIN!  It sat there, partially out of sight, with two of its disgusting legs clinging to the edge of the drain stopper, all stubborn-like, just waiting for me to close my eyes while I rinsed my hair to jump out and try to escape.  Which happened.  OooooooooH!

After that, I kept my eyes glued to that thing while I rinsed my hair, soaped up, washed my face and got the conditioner out of my hair.  Yes, I got two different kinds of soap in my eye, but it was worth it!  I stared that thing down and it stayed there, at the drain, waiting for me to leave. I had major adrenaline going the entire shower!  Now, 15 minutes later, I am writing this and can barely get my granola down because I still have the heebs.  So unfair.

I have decided that large spiders, cockroaches, and crickets freak me out, not because I think they are going to EAT me, but because they are so pickin' unpredictable!  THAT is was gets me--I never know where the little buggers are going to GO, whether it is up my leg or far away to the corner.

Anyway, enough of that.  I need to get my breakfast down.  And then go see if that darn spider is still stuck in my drain.  It better not be...

Wha? I have to do, like, stuff?

I am tired today.  I do not know why, but what I would really like to do is go back to bed for a couple of hours, get up and eat hot buttered toast, play a few songs on Guitar Hero (more on that later), take a walk on the beach, take another nap, do some yoga and then eat some homemade macaroni and cheese.  Bed by 8pm, perhaps.

But no, it is a work day.  By this, I mean a workout-homeschool-errands-pay-bills-children's-lessons-in-town-make dinner-for-everyone-and-perhaps-their-dog-as-well-visit-teach-mow-lawn-show-house-and-take-care-of-sick-husband-day...so far, I have accomplished the first one, but only part of the next and nothing else.  I did veer a little off the path and make a cup of hot cocoa with my fabulous Dagoba cocoa powder, which was quite lovely.

So, I will take it an hour at a time.  Perhaps some magic person will come along and do my stuff for me.  But that is not going to happen, so I will, as my friend Heather would say, "nut up" and do it myself.   And perhaps make it to bed by 10.  That will do.

It might be an ice cream night...

ps. this is me at Andrew's wedding reception--I was much more energetic that day!!

The Goods

I know, I know.  It has been forever.  But now that I have been home for over a week, I feel I can do a list that has been formulating in my mind with a better perspective.  I'll call it "Goods on Hawaii, Goods on Utah".  Here goes, and not in any particular order, I might add:

Hawaii:

1.  the climate (duh)

2.  the view from my makai (oceanside) deck and from my mauka (mountainside) deck

3.  great running buddy

4.  beach--perfect for walking, running, playing, heading out to swim & surf

5.  home schooling

6.  driving along the North Shore

7.  slow pace of life

8.  fresh, local produce year-round

9.  wearing a pa'u skirt and dancing hula in the kitchen with Sis

10.gorgeous mountains--the fuzzy kind

Utah:

1.  gorgeous mountains--the rugged kind

2.  great running climate--nice and cold

3.  accessibility to family, friends and Target

4.  land space to spread out

5.  the ability to take a different running or biking route every time you head out

6.  the gym

7.  cheap groceries (!)

8.  road trips

9.  an accessible time zone

10.Sam, Adam, Andrew and Candace--my babies (birthed and borrowed)

Many of you know (as if "many" read this blog!) that we are planning to move back to the mainland this year.  On a recent trip to Utah, I became determined to see however much good that could come from such a move as possible.  I refuse to be known as the negative type, so off to the goods it is!

(wish me luck!)

The Whole Nine Yards

Can you believe it?!!??  I FINALLY found out what the saying 'the whole nine yards' means.  I cannot tell you how many people I have asked!  I found out during the Goodwin Christmas Extravaganza (that just means many Goodwins are crammed into a small area eating lots of food) when I complained out loud that I may go to my grave not knowing what the nine yards consisted of, as in, nine yards of WHAT!?!?  My brother-in-law Karl Connolly overheard me and said the magic words, "Hey, I know what that means."

  

No way.

But he did.  Apparently, in World Wars I & II, ammunition for the machine guns that they used were attached to nine yards of canvas.  If a soldier was going to really give the enemy everything they had, they shot THE WHOLE NINE YARDS of ammo, as in "Give them the whole nine yards, soldier!!!!!" 

Woohoo!  Party, party! (scroll up to photo of fireworks for effect)  I am satisfied, but yet a little empty, and a bit lost that I finally know the origin.  I need to find a new stumper to mull over.  I wonder who decided it would be nine yards instead of, say, ten?

By the way, it is warming up here in Utah.  On my run this morning (which was an adventure), it was 25 degrees instead of the 12-17 degrees it has been on previous runs this week!  Balmy, I am sure...

Have a great Thursday!